A problem with food is not in the food itself. In this blog I take you into the discoveries of a lady that I can coach, I give you examples of underlying layers that can cause an eating problem and I end with a writing exercise that you can apply yourself to solve your problem with eating – the core, discover the cause.
Susan’s discoveries about her struggle and problem with food
With a big smile she sits in front of me as she tells: “Wow Milou, I now experience what was under that struggle with food all this time. A world is really opening up for me, I am learning so much about myself and that is so nice and liberating!”
I started smiling when I heard this, because that’s what it’s in! It is almost never about the food itself, but always about the layers and patterns underneath.
So I asked her to name again what was underneath that battle with food:
“If I don’t take good care of myself, it will manifest itself in eating and sewing. I now recognize better and better what my triggers are, such as unrest and fatigue.
I also recognize all kinds of beliefs and thought patterns that I unconsciously engaged in that led to me not taking good care of myself.
And in terms of food those ′′ I’m just a candy ass ′′ and ′′ It’s just fun so I’ll take it from it ′′ voices. I thought I didn’t have it, but it turns out I did haha.
Now I recognize much better what I’m talking to myself and can let go of the thoughts that don’t help me – and often aren’t even true.
I set my limits better, feel what I need and that really feels soooo much better 😃”
“And the great thing is,” she continued, “it’s often not even about the food itself, but about what’s underneath. I really see that now.
I’m coming loose from a conceived pattern in terms of food and instead I feel what I need. This is also just more one day than the other.
But I also learn to feel what I need in other areas – besides food. This way I take my rest faster, go to bed earlier, cancel appointments and divide my time better according to how it feels good for me.
And instead of judging myself if I ate too much, I can now look at this much more mildly. I think of it as a snapshot and can zoom out and see everything I’m already doing so much better. This also feels so much nicer.
Milou, those deeper layers are so interesting, I learn so much about myself.
And it gives such a liberation in terms of food!”
Of course, after this story and her contagious energy, I sat opposite her on the screen with an equally wide grin.
And this was only her 4th session of it Nice in your Body coaching journey ☺️
What could be underneath that battle with food?
A problem with food and your weight is 99 out of 100 times not the food itself, but in the deeper layers and beliefs.
Examples I hear from the ladies I coach are:
- Not finding yourself or your body worth enough to take good care of yourself
- Often crossing your limits because you always want to perform or take care of others
- Never learned how to deal with emotions without falling into food
- Believing that you are just that candy ass that has no brakes
- A certain satisfaction that is missing in your life and fill this void with food when you are bored or don’t know what else to do
Do you perhaps already recognize something from this? Otherwise, you can do the following exercise.
Writing exercise to find the common thread of your problem with food
One way to find out what’s going on in your struggle with food is to ask yourself:
- In which situations do I experience a problem (overeating, undereating, tension around eating, snacking, binge eating, etc.) with food?
- What is actually happening at the moments?
- How do I talk to myself then? What am I saying to myself? Then what do I think? And what beliefs lie beneath that?
- How do I feel then? Where do I experience that in my body? How do I deal with this feeling?
- What is my eating behavior then? What am I doing?
It’s best to write this down and not just figure it out in your head. Do this for different situations where you experience a problem with eating, overeating, or binge eating.
And then look:
- Is there a common thread?
- What can you conclude from this?
- So which aspect can you tackle?
And if you can’t get there yourself, which is quite normal, know that a good coach can help you with that. You always have blind spots that you cannot reach yourself. You can make a start with this yourself, but if you get stuck or you are unable to actually apply it, let someone help you.
As she also told me “I can only do this now because you coach me so well Milou”
Would you like to spar so that I can look with you at where your problem with food lies and what you need to create a healthy relationship with food and your body, then you can request a free 30 minute breakthrough session with me here.
You still ‘have’ to do it yourself of course
I can’t do it for you. But everything you need to create a healthy relationship with food is already within you. A coach can help you get there better or faster. Because the answers to your eating problem are always a layer deeper than you are probably aware of right now.
And that’s where your gold is. Therein lies your solution. There you will find your healthy and relaxed relationship with food and your body.
Let me know how this writing exercise is for you. What comes up? I’m curious!